Hey soul-connected creative!
Hope you’ve had a great week! Welcome back to part 2 of the #perfectionistproblems series.
Have you ever had this happen? You’re so focused on a certain problem that it sucks up all of your energy? I’ve So.Been.There recently.
Let me set the scene for you... :)
An issue arose at work. We spend 2.5 months talking about it, without much result. We weren’t on the same wavelength and didn’t understand each other. I grew increasingly frustrated and emotional.
The issue started taking up more and more of my time. I thought: “If only I could state my wishes more clearly, they will understand me better and the issue will resolve itself.”
I then spend an enormous amount of energy trying to make them understand my position. It didn’t help.
I couldn’t stop ruminating about it. This issue was causing me pain and I wanted to push that pain away. In order to do that I had to focus all of my energy on the issue and the pain it was causing.
Or so I thought…
Someone reminded me that I could choose to focus my energy elsewhere, that I’d tried my best to resolve the issue, and that it was okay to let go. *mic drop*
So, that’s what I did. At first, it felt like giving up. But then I gently reminded myself that I’d done my best and that I could let go.
PIN THIS FOR FUTURE REFERENCE! :)
This mini-drama inspired this week’s #perfectionistproblems blog post. I'm talking about a big perfectionism struggle: ‘Not Letting Go’.
Perfectionism is very much about how you think things should be and about how you think YOU should be. Perfectionists don’t only set unattainable goals, but also have very strict standards. There’s only one way to do things right, so that one way is the way to go.
This holding tight to the idea of perfection is what’s actually standing in your way. It’s what keeps you stifled and unable to move.
Sure, the fact that you feel like you haven’t lived up to your idea of perfection yet makes you feel awful in the moment. But, what causes real damage and pain, is to keep holding on to perfectionism in the first place.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up
Letting go means that you’ve opened yourself up to other possibilities. Holding tight to something that feels good (or in the case of perfectionism, feels like relief) in the moment, actually keeps you frozen in place.
Holding tight to perfectionism keeps your focus on the thing that causes you pain or makes you feel uncomfortable. When you let all of that go, energy and creativity will start to flow again.
3 levels of letting go
Letting go is difficult at first. But luckily, there are 3 levels when it comes to letting go. My advice? Start simple, start with the basics, start with the first level.
The first level of letting go is to let go of ideas and outcomes.
This could be an idea of what a perfect situation is or how things should be. It could also be your views on possessions or outside appearances.
Now, let's take it one step further.
The second level of letting go is to let go of behaviors that are limiting you, like perfectionism, people pleasing, and comparing.
Check out this blog post and workshop video on letting go of perfectionism to help you get started.
But here’s my challenge for you this week: go deeper...
The third level of letting go is to let go of fears, limiting beliefs, and negative thought patterns.
Perfectionism, people pleasing, and comparing are outward appearances of fear and limiting beliefs. So, when you truly want to let go of perfectionism you need to dig deeper.
Start this week by identifying which fears, limiting beliefs, and negative thought patterns are at the root of your perfectionism.
Need a little help with letting go of perfectionism? Download your FREE copy of the perfectionism-busting workbook with actionable steps and strategies.
Hi there! I’m Wendy, perfectionism coach and host of the #perfectionistproblems community for recovering perfectionists. I’m insanely passionate about helping you overcome your perfectionism, so that you can stop caring so much about what other people think and finally take on those dream projects that you've been putting off for so long.