Hey friend! A few weeks ago I started the #perfectionistproblems series. Inspired by a recent Netflix binge - and my new show crush Jessica Jones - I decided being a perfectionist is a bit like being a superhero that's fighting off the mind control powers of her arch nemesis. Read all about my warped logic here. ;)
As a result of the mind-bending leap of logic, I made a list of all the ways perfectionism has an effect on my life and I’m planning to focus on a different perfectionist problem each week, sharing my experiences and insights. And, of course, there’ll be tips and challenges to help you on your way.
The #perfectionistproblems series continues this week with a biggie, if I might say so… We’re talking limiting beliefs.
Let’s get crack-a-lackin’, shall we?
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Perfectionism and limiting beliefs are best buddies.
They’ve known each other a long time. They laugh at each other’s jokes. They’ve thrown parties for each other.
Perfectionism is both the result of limiting beliefs (“I’m not good enough”, “I’m only worthy if someone likes me or my work”, or “If only I live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, I can avoid or minimize the pain of judgment or shame”) and it also thrives off of limiting beliefs (“I’m only in control when I’m chasing perfection” or “Perfectionism is what makes me successful”).
Most likely, you have very strict ideas about what a perfect circumstance or outcome is. Everything else outside of that small framework, every other circumstance or outcome, isn’t good enough. You spend all of your energy chasing after perfection, even though it’s elusive and constantly out of your reach.
Your perfectionism creates a small box. Limiting beliefs are what keeps you stuck in that box.
Limiting beliefs shut you off and keep your energy, inspiration, and creativity from flowing.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with the concept of time. I felt that there aren’t enough hours in my day to fulfil my obligations (work, appointments, clean the house) and do everything I want to (focus on The Gratefulist, read inspiring books, my creative endeavors). To me, it felt that everything I WANTED to do suffered because of all the things I HAD to do.
After spending countless time searching for tips on time management and scrolling through Pinterest looking for advice on upping my productivity, I realized I got things twisted.
I came to the realization that I was being held back by a limiting belief.
Time isn’t limited. There ARE enough hours in the day. There’s enough time to do the things I have to do and want to do.
My limiting belief about time made me feel miserable. It made me feel like I failed before I even got started. That’s not how I want to feel.
There are four questions (inspired by Byron Katie’s The Work) I asked myself to get to the root of my limiting belief and help me unearth what I want to believe and feel.
My challenge for you this week is this: take one limiting belief and start questioning it. Also, ask yourself how that limiting belief fuels your perfectionism and how your perfectionism fuels that limiting belief.
These questions might help you:
1. Is that limiting belief absolutely true?
2. How do you react (and what do you feel) when you believe that limiting belief is true?
3. What is the opposite of this limiting belief? Now reason (and give specific examples) why this opposing statement is also true in your life.
4. How does this opposing statement makes you feel?
These questions really helped me hone in on the fact that I feel much better when I focus on abundance - that there’s enough time for me to do the things that are important to me.
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Hi there! I’m Wendy, perfectionism coach and host of the #perfectionistproblems community for recovering perfectionists. I’m insanely passionate about helping you overcome your perfectionism, so that you can stop caring so much about what other people think and finally take on those dream projects that you've been putting off for so long.